Topic-Changing Thursdays: Dear Fudgelet Part 2

Dear Fudgelet,

I just had a really rough 1 hour and 40 minutes. But so did you. You are halfway to 1 year old, and I am no better knowing what to do with your sleep than I was the last time I wrote to you. You’ve been staying up for longer stretches now, and you’re definitely going through a lot of changes. Sometimes, we don’t know what changes until a week later (which is a long time in babyland). You’ve made big strides (pun intended) in moving while on your tummy…not quite crawling, but you’re headed in that direction (so many puns). I’ve watched you play with your toys in more intentional ways, moving them towards your face and away, examining them, examining us, examining your own body (you love those fingers and toes). We’ve even started you with some solid food! All of these changes make for fussy babies who need more sleep. Well, I’m trying to get you that sleep anyway I can.

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Sometimes, you still fall asleep in the stroller, in the car, in the babycarrier…sometimes you fall asleep on your own in the crib, completely happy and fine. Sometimes you fall asleep nursing, and this isn’t always intentional, but it happens. But often, like just now, you take forever to fall asleep. To the point that it feels like youย never will fall asleep. I try cuddling you, holding you, nursing you, singing to you, massaging you…all of this after the normal bedtime routine. This time, it was just for a nap. Finally, I left you for a few minutes to check the laundry and give you a chance to try on your own. Immediately you started crying. The cries turned into sobs, and full-throated wails. During the sobs, I held out coming to you. I had comforted you before, and you would stop crying, but then would forget it was supposed to be naptime. So, I waited. I shed tears of my own. When you got extra loud, I went upstairs, but lo and behold you managed to calm down enough to fall asleep. All on your own.

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Those 18 minutes of crying were torture for me, and for you. I want to always be able to comfort you and make you feel good, but I’m sure there will be times in the future when I will have to upset you for your own good. Curfews to be set, rules to be followed, vegetables to eat…but I hope you know I really am here for you. I don’t know what will happen next time you cry (oh gosh, bedtime is in just a couple hours…). I might try holding out, or I might just hold you. Either way, I love you, and I hope we can figure out this sleep thing before you’re 18.

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Love,

Mom

P.S. Hearing you say what sounds like “Momma” when you’re crying is totally bittersweet.

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7 thoughts on “Topic-Changing Thursdays: Dear Fudgelet Part 2

  1. I’m going to say something that will sound slightly mean, but I hope it will help! If he’ll cry and fall asleep by himself in only 20 minutes, that’s really good — my son never gave up when he was crying, and as a result we still have to lay with him to get him to sleep and he’s 5!! If it was 20 minutes the first time, it will likely be 10 minutes the next time and a few minutes the third, until he’ll never cry at all and just happily lay down for a nap or bedtime. That’s how it worked for my daughter and friends’ kids. It’s very short-term pain for super long-term gain, and I can attest that my daughter has no lasting personality probs from the process. They learn that bedtime and nap time without you is nothing to be afraid of (but I only believe in doing it after about 6 months because before then they’re crying because biologically they need you — afterward, they just want you — they’re fed and there’s no reason they’re crying). Many parents disagree with letting babies cry ever, so make your own decision, and as I’ve said, it doesn’t work for all kids. But it sounds like fudgelet might be a candidate! If he learns not to be afraid to be alone, he’ll also roll over and go back to sleep in the middle of the night. Yay!!

    • I wish it was only 20 minutes, but it had been preceded by almost 2 hours of crying/fussing/etc. He usually doesn’t give up, but I think he just exhausted himself. Sometimes I don’t have to be near him or do anything and he falls asleep, but I haven’t been able to find a common thread in what works those times, but doesn’t work other times. Sigh. Babies are exhausting. ๐Ÿ™‚ The other thing with him is that he still eats throughout the night, so he never sleeps long stretches. I asked the dr, but he said to keep feeding him if he asks for it. It’s not like he is even average for weight, so he still has room to grow.

      • Ooh, and I forgot you said he isn’t eating much solid food yet, so he prob really does need food through the night. My condolences! Get that boy some good fatty avocados and carby sweet potatoes and you might be on your way! (Then again, you might just have a night owl)

    • I will definitely keep working on the solid food. Good to know that might be part of the reason he is awake and needing nursing. Thanks for the tips and advice. Maybe all of it will work someday soon. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Pingback: Topic-Changing Thursdays: The Fudgelet is 10 Months Old! | fudgingahead

  3. Pingback: Topic-Changing Thursdays: Dear Fudgelet, Part 3 | fudgingahead

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